Published: 26th December 2017
Publisher: Alien Abduction Press
Author: Anna-Marie Abell
End Times Are Here! Now you can eat whatever you want and not care if you gain weight.
Autumn, a food and wine obsessed ad executive (who for the purpose of this retelling asked to be portrayed as drool-inducing hot with kick-ass ninja skills), has just been handed the task of saving all of humanity.
Here’s the deal. The president has just announced that the Earth is going to collide with a rogue moon, and in the process, our entire planet is going to be smashed to bits. As one would expect, upon hearing this news, humans went ballistic. No car was left unrolled—but oddly enough, Taco Bell remained open and made unfathomable profits in the last days. Apparently, Doritos Locos® Tacos were a popular last meal.
After drinking a bottle of wine and inhaling a wheel of Brie cheese, Autumn hijacks a spaceship and races to save her fellow humans with the help of her unbelievably sexy alien boyfriend and her kleptomaniac friend with fire-retardant hair. The task is simple enough, just loot the Ark of the Covenant from a secret government bunker under a department store in Arkansas and use it to convince the entire human race to come together in one giant group hug. No problem, right? Along the way, Autumn will discover just how sheltered people are from the truth of extraterrestrials and their power to either protect us or destroy us.
Grab a bottle of wine, a spaceship full of snacks, and prepare to take a ride on this humorous chick lit romantic sci-fi paranormal adventure. If you crave a little sexy time in your reading, are into Ancient Aliens, conspiracy theories, UFOs, are curious if we were genetically engineered (like the Sumerian cuneiform texts claim), and are dying to find out the meaning of life, then this book is for you.
I think the title kind of says it all really so just hold on for a fun filled ride with lots of food thrown in for good measure – you’ll get that when you read it! You will find that Autumn likes her ‘what if’ questions. Not simple ones either, more like ‘what if flaming cats came out of his eyes’, you know that sort of thing.
So Autumn gets a shocked first encounter with ‘Mr. New Age’ at the bookstore. He seems to be a little different than other guys she’s met. Well with him being part of an alien race called Anunnaki from Nibiru, or what we call Planet X, it would kind of make sense. Seems this planet comes close to Earth every few thousand years. Just not as a good omen as last time it caused the great flood – you know the one with Noah. Now this race it seems appeared to have created humans – among other mythical creatures that is; mermaids, centaurs, unicorns and dragons to name a few. Creative bunch you could say. Meeting once would be a chance encounter but more than once, along with a feeling of being watched, you know that Autumn is going to want some answers to why she feels so connected to someone she doesn’t know.
Seems Rigel, aka Mr. New Age, has a bit of explaining to do about light beings and why he seems to be keeping an eye on her. His kind first came to Earth to mine its gold and that’s why they created the human race, to mine for them. They also realised that if they ingested the gold in liquid form then they could live longer and eventually morph into light. Nice quick way to get around it seems.
Seems their souls are calling each other, connected in a way that pulls the other near. Out of body experiences to get closer to the other? Hot connection to the extreme. Well this kind of connection between them might have to take a back seat though when her over active mind starts ticking things over. Namely by finding out said Planet X is coming in close again to Earth. So what if the Anunnaki have decided to fix another mistake in their design by wiping the humans out again so they can start the whole process over – the flood 2.0?
Some research is in order and this is where her bookstore buddy comes into play. ‘The Hair’ come ‘Zarf’, though real name Devon, is there to lend a hand – even if he thinks her a little strange with what she is looking for. Quick off the mark giving a space name when she asked, as she had been wanting to find out information on light beings. He’s Zarf and she’s Zooloo and both as quirky as the other. Looking into Greek myths to see what happened when a God would punish someone for breaking a rule is enough to make her question whether she should really see Rigel again. An Anunnaki and human cannot be together, not anymore anyway as they know what a possible outcome would be. Half gods, half humans – Nephilim – with none of the humans’ compassion but all gods’ strength and height. Something that could fight them it seems. Also seems all Anunnaki have gifts, not good when directed at you.
Myth goes that God created the universe down to a tee but to do so he had to create enough of a spark – hello big bang. This in turn split his soul in two. Great Prophecy says that these two souls will be drawn back together to create balance, for the universes to become one. They would tie back together with one blue light and one gold so the Creator would be made whole again. The thing is Autumn has a blue soul. Would this be the start of the Prophecy or the start of a terrible downfall?
Inanna was an interesting character who is the enforcer of the no mating rule between humans and the Anunnaki. She shows up at just the wrong time for Autumn’s liking. Sparks and souls were literally flying. Autumn’s best friend Emma seems to take her crazy explanations in her stride. Oh sure ok you met an alien, the race that created us, had an orgasmic kiss/soul explosion and the world might be coming to an end. Ok let’s eat while we can. Enlil on the other hand is a right dick who clearly isn’t on humans’ side. He just wants them gone, no matter what the prophecy could mean. The fact Autumn could be a part of it just winds him up even further. Good job that Inanna seems to be coming round and might be able to help. Enki needs to help too by finding another loophole like he did with Noah and his wife with the Ark – one that won’t end with a sacrifice.
Space ship to fly and Devon is like a kid in a toyshop begging to be allowed to play with it. Fab four at the end trying to save the world – Autumn, Rigel, Devon and Inanna. Shame Enlil is finding loopholes to slow them down – post-it notes are funny though.
A race against time to save the human race, let’s see if they make it? A funny, sci-fi, comedy read with a bit of romance thrown in for good measure. The power of the pinecone might be what saves the day but what is the price and are they willing to pay it? Got going a bit more from half way onwards but I enjoyed it nonetheless.
4 out of 5 stars
I received a copy of this book from the author via NetGalley for my honest review.